Communication and Insecurity?

As I said in the previous post, I've had some time to think about electronic communication and how it's affected my personal life.

One of the first things I noted about electronic communication, is the fact that it is, by nature, very impersonal. I have no idea who is reading my blogs. It also tends to be very dangerous in terms of the amnount of information one tends to share about yourself with all these unknown people out there.

Another problem is the whole issue that there are essential pieces of communication missing, namely the non-verbal elements, such as facial expressions and tone of voice to mention but a few. How many times have arguments erupted at work as a result of someone reading an email while in a bad mood? The sender may never have intended the message to cause distress or upset, but purrely because the person who is reading the message is in a bad mood, they fly off the handle at whatever they read.

An example, which leads me to the second part of the title, could even be when Person A is feeling insecure in his job and he reads an email sent from his computer by Person B to find out a little more about a certain subject. Person A could easily fly off the handle, because their own insecurity could lead them to think that B wants to take over his job. Meanwhile, B was merely trying to find out how a process works so that he can see how his job fits into the bigger picture.

That brings about a whole new issue, because there is a lot to be said about insecurity and how it affects even the most complete form of communication, which is the good old face-to-face method. Doesn't matter what anyody says to an insecure person, they will invariably read the wrong intention into the message, because that is what they are focusing on.

If you are secure in yourself, chances are that you will not see the negative in everything that happens to and around you. Chances are you will see more opportunities than obstacles. Chances are you will hear more of what the actual intent of a message was, rather than thinking about how the communicator is trying to stab you in the back, or get a gentle "dig" in with what they are saying.

As a matter of fact, when a person is insecure in themselves and what they are experiencing, it doesn't matter how you word a message. They will automatically tell you that the message is "aimed" at them and that the sender wants to get a stab in somehow. They will be looking for the negative in everything anybody around them does and would probably not even accept a hand of friendship and peace...unless, of course, it was offered in a box, wrapped in cotton and not attached to the person who caused the hassle in the first place!!

Anyway...now that I know you are all out there gossiping about me...let me end off with a nice quote I read yesterday.

'A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein'