It's the end of the month and I'm working on my budget...Can't you tell from the title?
Last night I had a short heart-to-heart with my teenage daughter about money, which seems to happen a lot around some teenagers. In this case, though, I was "opening up" to my daughter about my plans to apply for a permanent position again, which would lead to us having more money in the bank every month.
The discussion basically started as a question about whether my daughter would mind if I earned more money. (Actually a silly question to ask a teenager, but nonetheless.) The conversation then turned to the fact that she would still love us even if we had no money, or less money and then the discussion turned towards the question of why money became such an important thing in peoples' lives and caused so much stress at the end of every month.
That's when I realised that money is important...if applied an used correctly. You will note that Family and Friends comes before Finances in the title of this message. Obviously we all need money to buy things, but the things we buy with that money is what concerns me. Money is needed to buy things, but I am starting to wonder whether a person couldn't get back to the old bartering system to some extent?
I have certain talents and gifts that could be used by people who hae other talents and gifts that I could use again. Yes, there are obvious flaws in my argument, but just think about it... If I can fix a tap, while you can do woodwork, why don't you fix my cupboard door(s), while I fix your leaky tap(s)? That way, neither of us needs to pay someone else to come and do the job, so we need a little less money to get along.
Then I started thinking about my Family and my Friends and how we could apply this amongst ourselves. I started thinking of the number of guys that I know that are clueless (and I say this in the nicest way possible!) about technical things, but they are good with things that I'm clueless about. So why don't I help them by servicing their cars or bikes, while they help me with the stuff I know little, or nothing about?
Acfter all this, thinking, though, I got back to the point of where the spares and materials for these jobs would come from...That's when the flaw in my plan became VERY obvious, because one of the parties would still have to go and buy the spares or materials needed for the job. Someobody would still have to make the snacks and the food necessary to sustain ourselves through the working process. We'd have to have something to drink while we were working...and we'll need light to work by, so we'll need a supply of electricity for that...and don't forget the tools we need to get the job done, because those would have to be bought from a supplier somewhere.
OK, so the plan is not all that well thought out at the moment, but I'm sure some of you can see where I'm heading with this and have started thinking of some names of friends who could possibly help you with some of the things you're struggling with? I know my wife has been thinking of tending a small veggie patch in the back yard to make things a little easier when it comes to groceries every month...
The question remains...Do we really need all that much money every month? Isn't it more important that we have a family that loves us and friends that care for us and support us? Shouldn't we take more care of the family and friends around us than worrying about our income and how to increase that?
2009/07/30
2009/07/13
Communication and Insecurity?
As I said in the previous post, I've had some time to think about electronic communication and how it's affected my personal life.
One of the first things I noted about electronic communication, is the fact that it is, by nature, very impersonal. I have no idea who is reading my blogs. It also tends to be very dangerous in terms of the amnount of information one tends to share about yourself with all these unknown people out there.
Another problem is the whole issue that there are essential pieces of communication missing, namely the non-verbal elements, such as facial expressions and tone of voice to mention but a few. How many times have arguments erupted at work as a result of someone reading an email while in a bad mood? The sender may never have intended the message to cause distress or upset, but purrely because the person who is reading the message is in a bad mood, they fly off the handle at whatever they read.
An example, which leads me to the second part of the title, could even be when Person A is feeling insecure in his job and he reads an email sent from his computer by Person B to find out a little more about a certain subject. Person A could easily fly off the handle, because their own insecurity could lead them to think that B wants to take over his job. Meanwhile, B was merely trying to find out how a process works so that he can see how his job fits into the bigger picture.
That brings about a whole new issue, because there is a lot to be said about insecurity and how it affects even the most complete form of communication, which is the good old face-to-face method. Doesn't matter what anyody says to an insecure person, they will invariably read the wrong intention into the message, because that is what they are focusing on.
If you are secure in yourself, chances are that you will not see the negative in everything that happens to and around you. Chances are you will see more opportunities than obstacles. Chances are you will hear more of what the actual intent of a message was, rather than thinking about how the communicator is trying to stab you in the back, or get a gentle "dig" in with what they are saying.
As a matter of fact, when a person is insecure in themselves and what they are experiencing, it doesn't matter how you word a message. They will automatically tell you that the message is "aimed" at them and that the sender wants to get a stab in somehow. They will be looking for the negative in everything anybody around them does and would probably not even accept a hand of friendship and peace...unless, of course, it was offered in a box, wrapped in cotton and not attached to the person who caused the hassle in the first place!!
Anyway...now that I know you are all out there gossiping about me...let me end off with a nice quote I read yesterday.
'A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein'
One of the first things I noted about electronic communication, is the fact that it is, by nature, very impersonal. I have no idea who is reading my blogs. It also tends to be very dangerous in terms of the amnount of information one tends to share about yourself with all these unknown people out there.
Another problem is the whole issue that there are essential pieces of communication missing, namely the non-verbal elements, such as facial expressions and tone of voice to mention but a few. How many times have arguments erupted at work as a result of someone reading an email while in a bad mood? The sender may never have intended the message to cause distress or upset, but purrely because the person who is reading the message is in a bad mood, they fly off the handle at whatever they read.
An example, which leads me to the second part of the title, could even be when Person A is feeling insecure in his job and he reads an email sent from his computer by Person B to find out a little more about a certain subject. Person A could easily fly off the handle, because their own insecurity could lead them to think that B wants to take over his job. Meanwhile, B was merely trying to find out how a process works so that he can see how his job fits into the bigger picture.
That brings about a whole new issue, because there is a lot to be said about insecurity and how it affects even the most complete form of communication, which is the good old face-to-face method. Doesn't matter what anyody says to an insecure person, they will invariably read the wrong intention into the message, because that is what they are focusing on.
If you are secure in yourself, chances are that you will not see the negative in everything that happens to and around you. Chances are you will see more opportunities than obstacles. Chances are you will hear more of what the actual intent of a message was, rather than thinking about how the communicator is trying to stab you in the back, or get a gentle "dig" in with what they are saying.
As a matter of fact, when a person is insecure in themselves and what they are experiencing, it doesn't matter how you word a message. They will automatically tell you that the message is "aimed" at them and that the sender wants to get a stab in somehow. They will be looking for the negative in everything anybody around them does and would probably not even accept a hand of friendship and peace...unless, of course, it was offered in a box, wrapped in cotton and not attached to the person who caused the hassle in the first place!!
Anyway...now that I know you are all out there gossiping about me...let me end off with a nice quote I read yesterday.
'A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein'
2009/07/12
Long time, no see...
I've been away for a while, but trust me...it's all been worth it!
Some things have changed a little since I've last been around. I've come away from the plasters and casts and pins and stuff, I've changed jobs, I've started riding bikes again, I've had time to reflect on a lot of things...
One of the things I've especially had a lot of time to reflect on is this whole issue of electronic communications (Like Blogging, Facebooking, emailing, sms-ing or texting as some nations refer to it, etc.)
So I've started typing this blog just to get the ball rolling and give myself something to work with in the near future.
I'll be back again with some more on this subject later. In the meantime I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here and I'm planning to use the blog a little more frequently again in the near future.
'Till then...Blessings.
Some things have changed a little since I've last been around. I've come away from the plasters and casts and pins and stuff, I've changed jobs, I've started riding bikes again, I've had time to reflect on a lot of things...
One of the things I've especially had a lot of time to reflect on is this whole issue of electronic communications (Like Blogging, Facebooking, emailing, sms-ing or texting as some nations refer to it, etc.)
So I've started typing this blog just to get the ball rolling and give myself something to work with in the near future.
I'll be back again with some more on this subject later. In the meantime I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here and I'm planning to use the blog a little more frequently again in the near future.
'Till then...Blessings.
2009/01/11
Growing up, Growing old and having Kids...
Today is the day before the day I never thought I'd see one day! I promise
it'll make sense when you read further!
A couple of years ago...well, 27 years to be excact...I started my last year of school. Actually I think it would be more honest to say I trusted, hoped and prayed that it would be my last year of school!
At the age of sixteen and a half you don't really think of anything other than yourself, really! So, there I was thinking of how I'm going to make the last year of school worthwhile to remember. Would that girl in my class ever be willing to go on a date with the likes of me. Could I get my brother's bike to go visit her without being caught by the cops (or my Mother!), because I didn't have a licence. You know? Normal teenager thoughts for the early 80's!
And then...it's 27 years later and here I am on my daughter's 16th birthday and the day before my 18th wedding anniversary. Stuff that I never even considered would be part of my life 27 years ago. Suddenly that saying "Life is what happens while you're making other plans" comes to mind and I realise how true it all is!
But, before you think I'm complaining, I'm very happy with my life the way it is right now. Obviously we'd like to change the really BAD things that happened to us, like NOT falling off the bike last year June, or NOT selling that bike that turned out to be a collector's piece, or NOT getting into debt a couple of years ago, but where it concerns my family....I'm REALLY happy with where I am.
My marriage has been blessed, not through much of my own doing, but more through the perseverence and "never say die"-attitude of my wife. (Maybe that should be the "never say KILL"-attitude of my wife? :-) ) I realise after 18 years there must have been some times in her life that she was wondering whether she'd made the right choices, but I sure made a good choice 19 years ago!
Nevertheless, she has been standing by me through the proverbial "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" times of our life together. But, trust me...it's in the for worse and for poorer times that your relationship gets tested, because I'm sure that even the most annoying person can be tolerated when it's for better, or for richer times!
She hasn't waivered, or become more discouraged than any other human being would have in the times together. (We all become discouraged at some point in our lives, but it's what we do about them that matters in the long run!) By God's Grace we've been able to work through these times together and managed to get out the other side feeling even stronger about our decision to be together.
Be that as it may, the other day I never thought I'd see is when I became a Father! As a matter of fact I never thought I'd become a Father TWICE! But here I am celebrating my daughter's 16th birthday and watching my 14 year old son celebrate his sister's birthday with as much enthusiasm and joy. Suddenly I realise it was made to be this way and I was exactly where I should be.
I think of all the times people around me were talking about how they think it's a miracle that parents actually allow their teenagers to survive to reach adulthood, because they can be so difficult!! But then I look at my two teenagers and I realise these people were probably just caught at one of those awkward times in their relationships with their kids, because I can't see it being that way today.
Maybe three days ago, but not today. I can't imagine my dauhgter being a difficult teen. She is so happy and thankful and pleasant and radiant and all the other words that describe a beautiful 16 year old being happy and content. Ok, it may have a lot to do with the attention and presents, but....I'm happy and thankful too.
Thankful that I have been given this responsibility of raising such a beautiful girl. More thankful that I have been given a faithful and good wife that can help me raise such a beautiful young lady. But above all, I'm thankful that she hasn't turned out to be anything like her Father was when he was 16!! :-)
So, for those of you that are reading this and are wondering what's going to happen with your life in the future...DON'T! The future is meant to be an unpredictable place, otherwise we would have total control and stuff things up horribly. Just make sure the decisions you take today are worth living with 27 years from now!
I know my decisions are worth living with and I intend to make the most of that life.
Until next time...God Bless.
it'll make sense when you read further!
A couple of years ago...well, 27 years to be excact...I started my last year of school. Actually I think it would be more honest to say I trusted, hoped and prayed that it would be my last year of school!
At the age of sixteen and a half you don't really think of anything other than yourself, really! So, there I was thinking of how I'm going to make the last year of school worthwhile to remember. Would that girl in my class ever be willing to go on a date with the likes of me. Could I get my brother's bike to go visit her without being caught by the cops (or my Mother!), because I didn't have a licence. You know? Normal teenager thoughts for the early 80's!
And then...it's 27 years later and here I am on my daughter's 16th birthday and the day before my 18th wedding anniversary. Stuff that I never even considered would be part of my life 27 years ago. Suddenly that saying "Life is what happens while you're making other plans" comes to mind and I realise how true it all is!
But, before you think I'm complaining, I'm very happy with my life the way it is right now. Obviously we'd like to change the really BAD things that happened to us, like NOT falling off the bike last year June, or NOT selling that bike that turned out to be a collector's piece, or NOT getting into debt a couple of years ago, but where it concerns my family....I'm REALLY happy with where I am.
My marriage has been blessed, not through much of my own doing, but more through the perseverence and "never say die"-attitude of my wife. (Maybe that should be the "never say KILL"-attitude of my wife? :-) ) I realise after 18 years there must have been some times in her life that she was wondering whether she'd made the right choices, but I sure made a good choice 19 years ago!
Nevertheless, she has been standing by me through the proverbial "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" times of our life together. But, trust me...it's in the for worse and for poorer times that your relationship gets tested, because I'm sure that even the most annoying person can be tolerated when it's for better, or for richer times!
She hasn't waivered, or become more discouraged than any other human being would have in the times together. (We all become discouraged at some point in our lives, but it's what we do about them that matters in the long run!) By God's Grace we've been able to work through these times together and managed to get out the other side feeling even stronger about our decision to be together.
Be that as it may, the other day I never thought I'd see is when I became a Father! As a matter of fact I never thought I'd become a Father TWICE! But here I am celebrating my daughter's 16th birthday and watching my 14 year old son celebrate his sister's birthday with as much enthusiasm and joy. Suddenly I realise it was made to be this way and I was exactly where I should be.
I think of all the times people around me were talking about how they think it's a miracle that parents actually allow their teenagers to survive to reach adulthood, because they can be so difficult!! But then I look at my two teenagers and I realise these people were probably just caught at one of those awkward times in their relationships with their kids, because I can't see it being that way today.
Maybe three days ago, but not today. I can't imagine my dauhgter being a difficult teen. She is so happy and thankful and pleasant and radiant and all the other words that describe a beautiful 16 year old being happy and content. Ok, it may have a lot to do with the attention and presents, but....I'm happy and thankful too.
Thankful that I have been given this responsibility of raising such a beautiful girl. More thankful that I have been given a faithful and good wife that can help me raise such a beautiful young lady. But above all, I'm thankful that she hasn't turned out to be anything like her Father was when he was 16!! :-)
So, for those of you that are reading this and are wondering what's going to happen with your life in the future...DON'T! The future is meant to be an unpredictable place, otherwise we would have total control and stuff things up horribly. Just make sure the decisions you take today are worth living with 27 years from now!
I know my decisions are worth living with and I intend to make the most of that life.
Until next time...God Bless.
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